Leon

Leon Russell was always an influence in the background of my life, exactly how much I didn't put together until this week. His passing last Sunday November 13 brought me to reading up more details of his history, stories I had heard over the years but the details were fuzzy.

Daddy was hard working Montana stock with no tolerance for or understanding of hippie nonsense and silly kids that wanted to lay around and do drugs and protest. He served in Korea as a conscientious objector, not as a war protester, but on the grounds that killing is against the ten commandments. So in his eyes the war protestors were despicable as they shirked their duty in cowardice, where they could instead go, and refuse to kill if their conscience so led them but still put themselves in the line of fire, like he did. Dad's staunch following of right and wrong with no room for ambiguity shaped my early life.

See, I was born in Tulsa and lived next to Woodward Park during my preschool years. It's one thing to have the hippies in California and New York and grumble vaguely about their dirtiness and shirking of duty, well it's quite another when they come into the neighborhood. Leon Russell, Tulsa native turned rock star, bought a house just five blocks down the road from us in 1972.¹ So! Our family left - it was time to move the vulnerable daughters out to the country before sex, drugs and rock-n-roll got their hooks in us.

So I didn't get offered brownies at the door of the Russell mansion, but the sweet strain of tinkling piano keys still reached me 40 miles away as I lay my head on my clock radio speaker with the volume turned down as low as it could go for fear of discovery.

(See when I was 13 rebellion was the first sign of me growing my wings, and my radio was taken away, punishment for listening to the Tulsa rock-n-roll station KMOD. I had forgotten to change the station back to news or gospel one day when I left for school, so my wicked wayward ways were found out. I did finally get the radio back three years later. After that I was much more careful to always set the station back to an approved channel before leaving my room.)

While Casey Kasem's American Top 40 show of the same era was entertaining in its happy and saccharine way, as I grew older the stronger appeal of deeper grittier stories led me to listen more to Rockin' John Henry instead, who educated me on music history and the role Tulsa played in shaping rock and roll. His "Saturday Bandstand" on Tulsa radio KELI played throughout my childhood and teen years, and then he expanded into the Sunday night Smokehouse Blues on KMOD right when I was at college age.²

Listening to his smooth deep voice expounding on the finer points of the origins of a song, playing two or three historical versions, and gently laughing at some silly coming of age story, oh that was magic to the soul and candy for the brain, and his lessons sunk in deep.

So over the years Rockin' John told us all the fun stories of Leon, how he rankled the Maple Ridge neighbors and built a wall around his mansion, how stars orbited Leon and of his song writing and piano playing mastery, his start as a 14 year old playing in Tulsa clubs. All these stories wove a grand picture around an already impressive persona with god-like white flowing hair and beard.

And it felt like he belonged to us, to Tulsa, like an imposing grand wild uncle of the city. Leon elevated Tulsa to a higher stature in the rock and roll culture, and we were thrilled to say we were part of Tulsa too, riding on his coattails. Us teenagers of his era were influenced, whether our parents willed it or no.

While he undoubtedly left his mark on rock-n-roll at large³, we of Tulsa still cling to him as our example of what amazing stuff can come out of our little home here on the prairie. This is what we're made of. Star stuff.

1. Leon's Lair by Matt O'Melia
2. Rockin John Henry by John Wooley
3. Interviews and Video: RIP Leon Russell by Brandy McDonnell

Right to Farm - Oklahoma State question 777

I was for it - competition, and driving prices down is a good thing, and less regulation on the market. Scientifically driven efficiency is optimum. But a constitutional amendment seems silly, frivolous. Over the top hyperbole.

On the for side, face reality: small farms are a luxury, not a viable way of life anymore, this is for progress to use better technology to create more food more efficiently. While I buy seasonal items from a farmers market for the freshness and flavor that is so much better than big box grocery offerings, I do so as a luxury of my older years, and I personally know how prohibitively expensive fresh produce is for young families. Anything we can do as a cooperative society to use technological advancements to drive down the price of fresh food is a good thing.

However! On the against side: this bill doesn't solely focus on vegetables and fruit, it's also about ranching, raising livestock. It's so broad that it could be applied to any kind of husbandry, including raising pets. I sure don't want people wantonly breeding more animals. The unaltered cats roaming the street and breeding rampantly are incredibly annoying if not yet a menace. And because this bill paints such a broad swath across many markets, this can only tend to muddy things up in court - losing the best outcome, a fast and responsive free market.

For future consideration: what we really need is a mechanism to make fresh produce more affordable to young families who are often living paycheck to paycheck (with mortgage plus utilities at nearly 50% of their salary there's no wiggle room in those young budgets).

When a bag of celery and a head of lettuce costs more than an entire frozen meal, cheese crackers and potato chips, canned or frozen items in excess of x caloric, salt, sugar or fat content, need some sort of health tax imposed that gets applied directly to subsidize cost reductions for produce - balance it out. Celery, lettuce, tomatoes, apples, grapes should all cost 1/4 what they do now. A bagged salad or prepared fresh veggie box should be much cheaper than a fast food box meal. We'd solve a lot of problems, and help health issues and farmers both.

The Drug War

Forgive me, I ramble a bit on this one. But I do have a point. A couple of points.

Jail is just vo-tech classes on How to be a Gangster 101. If drugs were legal, our taxes wouldn't be pouring like water through a sieve into jails that teach slightly messed-up people how to be real serious criminals. Instead, people whose lives had led them to this pass need counseling and mental healing so they can be productive members of society.

People try drugs:
just because it's passed to them at a party
out of boredom
to impress bravado

People continue to take drugs:
just because it's passed to them at a party
out of boredom
to impress bravado
out of taking something to bury bad emotions (pain, misery, fear, worries)

People get addicted to drugs:
out of taking something to bury bad emotions again (pain, misery, fear, worries)

Let's stop wasting tax money on jailing broken people only to teach them how to cheat, steal and assail their way into more trouble.

Drugs + Jail = Crime

Drugs do not equal crime. Jailing drug users turns lost, broken people into criminals.
Crime is a personal attack on another person (verbal or physical assault, theft).
Drugs are a personal choice (albeit a bad choice) of attack on one's own person.

I am quite proud that the Oklahoma ballot will have two measures on it this November towards a solution, state questions 780 and 781: tax money & time spent on jail will instead go towards substance abuse and mental health programs. This is the way towards healing the broken, not just slapping a bandage on a gushing artery.

It's just plain silly to have so many layers of laws on top of laws against drugs where if we'd just follow the ones we already had against property and personal crime, these problems have already been addressed.

It is still and should remain illegal to be intoxicated (high) in public, whether walking or driving. What's a solution for a safe place for drug use - home, a bar? Drug & alcohol use should be kept private for both the safety of the user and the public at large; if in a recreational business catering to such activities, bartenders and bouncers should be on site to guide in safe usage, with safe transportation choices on hand.

I have no right to tell you what you can or cannot put into your own body, so long as you do not endanger me or my loved ones. True, I would prefer that you do not choose drugs, but I cannot fix your life by trying to legislate your morality.

Morality must come from society - peer pressure. The expected behavior that our peers hold us to.

Our friends and neighbors are the measure of our morals.

Sex and Politics

So this is what the old folks were warning us about when they were anxiety-ridden over the hippie's free love movement bringing our social mores down, even at the highest ranks of our nation.

Pussy grabbing controversy ala Trump 2016

sigh

presidential election my ass

Look, I'm all good with appreciating sexual beauty, a healthy sex appetite is great! But you don't have a license to grab pussy uninvited just because you've earned a little fame. No one does, and guys can talk about pussy appreciation to each other all they want without crossing the line of middle-school pressure to feel someone up uninvited. So yeah, I hold a presidential candidate to a higher standard.

I'm voting for Gary Johnson. Best case scenario, he wins with 35% of the vote nationwide. He is on all 50 ballots after all, and the pollsters keep only giving two choices and brushing off people who specify Gary. I'm thinking there's going to be a lot more support for the Johnson-Weld ticket than the mainstream politicos are bargaining for.

In the meantime, I'll do some cuddly wuddly appreciation of Joshua Varozza (and no, I wouldn't just walk up and grab his crotch or any other temptingly huggable man - talking is okay, touching is not, talking about touching is just eww)*

Cuddly Guy Dudeoir - Mmmmm Hmmmm

*Post script: I will always defend the human right to speak, even if it is crass, sexist, racist, or any other form of disgusting. As a consequence, I reserve the right to point out that such speech identifies such a speaker as crass, sexist, racist, or disgusting. I do not approve of such speech, however legal it may be.

Gender Norms, Pronouns and Changing the World

I always thought of myself as a Daddy's girl. Mom was great and all, but Daddy would spend so much time outside, always in the background of my big country playground, that I naturally gravitated to him. Fifteen acres to explore starting at age 4, I thrilled in imaginative explorations through tall Oklahoma prairie grass (and wheat sprouting wild, leftover from past owners), as Daddy built fences, barns, sheds, a chicken coop, rabbit hutches - I was there, equal parts following him and trying to hammer nails, and wandering off to chase a grasshopper or dig in the muddy creek shallows.

I was supposed to be Daddy's boy. Last child of three, they already had two girls and Dad wanted one more shot at having a boy, so enter me, but oh well, here's a third girl. So I loved my puppy dogs, red cowboy hat and white boots, silver cap guns, and long curly blonde ponytails. I also picked up a love for things with wheels. There's a picture of me as a baby, pre-walking, with a steel Tonka Trencher. That toy is sitting on my dresser today, along with a die-cast model of Daddy's red Ford tractor. I was the little girl climbing on the school bus in the frilly dress (Pentecostal - that's a whole 'nuther subject for another day) with a Hot Wheel clutched in her fist.

But about gender norms. I'm not talking earth-shattering transformations and super-controversial stuff here. This isn't about transgender issues. This is very basic everyday, every person, touches every life sort of thing. I'm talking the ordinary every day gradual changes that husbands and wives and partners of all types have gradually shifted into over the last hundred or so years.

Husbands don't necessarily enjoy gardening, garage work. I'm one of those girls that spends more time outside in the yard and garage. I'm interested in making things, building, using mechanical tools. I'm far more Tim Allen than Jill (Home Improvement tv series). Different people like different things, gender doesn't really rule that, and yet there is nothing wrong with shows that perpetuate gender norms as long as we humans will just let up laughing at or poking fun at those who deviate from the norms.

My parents were born almost 100 years ago, my grandparents 100+. In their world, there were serious peer rejections and reprisals against anyone who deviated from the norms. Then after WWII forced the necessity of women working more, the pressures slacked up a little, and not long after the rockabilly and hippie movements rebelled full throttle. I think after society got over those shocks, we humans were a little calmer about little things like boys playing with dolls.

Daddy grew up with the generation that ridiculed soft boys as "sissies." It was an expression of derision I heard often regarding the hippy types around town. Sure there were still extremists who would get horrified about such things, but most people were in the middle and ready to accept differences that didn't harm others.

In the last 50 years I'd say there's been a growing respect for a girl who can kick ass right next the guys, but the negative humor bias against a guy who is tender-hearted and prefers arranging flowers is still pervasive. There are some instances of finding this an awesome way for a guy to be. Like there was Scrubs. JD is cute and soft hearted and "wimpy" in a very endearing way. We need another show like Scrubs.

I know of more than one married guy that nurtures the kids and cooks dinner. It's not nearly as rare as it used to be, and I'm really happy about that.

Now about pronouns. I love that living languages change and evolve with the society to which they belong. New words get added to the dictionary every year. "Okay" is an evolved form of slang going all the way back to "All correct" in some versions of the etymology.

He, she, man, woman, they, vis, ve, ver. Haven't heard of those last three? I saw them introduced in a sci-fi book series, Poseidon's Children by Alastair Reynolds. Apparently they are gender-neutral pronouns. Apparently they aren't the only ones being tested out there by writers and others in the gender-neutral world. Some prefer to use "they" in place of "his" or "her" but this just doesn't work for me as "they" implies a plural. I really like the vis, ve, ver set.

However! Human. I am human. I believe all men are created equal, and I, along with every other female, am among the ranks of these men. I don't really care what the original intent was. My heart and mind tells me I belong there, along with all my friends and foes whether they have penises or vaginas or any combination thereof. We sentient beings, men, human, are all created equal.

Draftsman. I'm not offended by this name. I am so happy and proud to call myself that.

If I'm ever the leader of a board, I'll be the chairman. Not the chairwoman. I don't need a special name pointing out my genitals, thanks.

Personally I think special pronouns for females in positions of power is demeaning and attention seeking. "Ooooh woop-de-doo a girl is the leader, she is in power and we have to point out that it's a *WO*man at the top." Um .... No.... A leader is still a leader no matter what they've got in their pants.

Fuck all those chip-on-the-shoulder people who get offended and write "and she" in reply to a beautiful image of humanity reaching for the stars that uses the pronoun "he" - I AM HE. I am in that number! I count among the rank of mankind without having to use a special pronoun to point that out, as if I didn't count without it. I AM HUMAN, thank you very much!

Picking at a scab doesn't make it better - opening it up makes it heal slower. Picking at the use of the word "he" is like picking at a scab. Taking the higher ground and realizing the word "he" is not an affront to all the humans out there that happen to have vaginas gets us girls progress faster just by participating calmly in that space rather than being huffy and indignant and acting like it's a grammatical error. Just be there. Just be a human in the space of "he", ladies. You're included. You have permission. Come on in.

Someday far in the future, I want gender equality by means of gender neutrality. Maybe sci-fi visions of future gender relations would be the solution, where ve is used instead of "he" (because apparently in some people's eyes the word "he" excludes females. In my head when I hear the word "he" I am included that group!).

I'm with Troi. I wanna hear a Yes Sir when I'm in command.

In summary, gender norms have changed quite a bit if you take a stark contrast of 1916 to 2016. Sure there are tendencies still stick to traditional gender roles, because kids copy what they see modeled by parents, teachers, or in books and other media, and just as we as a culture have come to accept gay marriage, and the reaction to the Pulse nightclub tragedy was genuine love and concern vs. the crude jokes of a similar incident in the 70's, society's view of gender issues is catching up.

So I don't cringe when I see memes that are a little biased to historical trends. Jokes about husbands being lazy, or a joke about a girl being overly concerned about her hair. It's where we've been, but we are progressing. Now we can have jokes about a lazy wife (Clara of The Guild web series), or a jokes about girls fantasizing about men in kilts. No need to get bent out of shape, or to have a miserable stressful day hyperventilating because someone said something "sexist."

For a happier life, chill. Be patient, and realize that the world isn't going to change overnight. Change will come, but it may be two centuries after you're dead. And it's sure as hell going to be slower if you raise hackles rather than being positive. (so maybe I should back off the f-word up there ... hmmm ... thinking ... thinking ... No, it stays. Chip-on-the-shoulder people are a huge part of the problem.)

Screaming, raising your voice, going higher and higher in octave, typing faster and harder at people who don't believe the same way you do tends to make them dig in their heels and resist further. But look at someone like the Dalai Lama who smiles and touches people. This is influence.

Change comes by gentle influence, not by visionary hammer pounds.

Further Reading:
Wikipedia, Gender Neutrality in the English language
Scrubs tv series
The Guild web series
Handsome men in kilts